MAN CRUSH OF THE WEEK: SARAH PHILLIPS

I debated giving Man Crush to a woman since that wouldn’t really be a Man Crush but just a crush and therefore opening up the door for Kate Upton to win every week, but in all likelihood, Sarah Phillips is not actually a woman. no one knows.

As not a gambling addict/desperately horny guy who reads stuff for people’s headshots, I had no idea who Sarah Phillips was. and it turns out, neither does anyone else, including her now former employer ESPN.

So the story, which is still currently unfolding, was documented brilliantly by John Koblin for Deadspin, but the quick summary is Sarah Phillips was supposedly 22, a college student, and a huge sports gambler, got a job as a columnist for a sports gambling website and used three completely different headshots, got hired by ESPN, scammed people out of a bunch of money, got involved in some weird sort of internet takeover of various Twitter accounts/websites, tried to launch a comedy sports website, had everything come out, get fired, and the story just continues to get crazier as time goes on.

As far as sports scandals go, this is incredible. Most of the stuff we get is pretty mundane stuff of the drugs/steroids/infidelity/drunken anti-Semitic rant variety. but this is so different. Stolen identities, blackmail, attractive college girls, guys with Bond villain names, and a bunch of people who I had no idea existed with tens of thousands of Twitter followers? It’s amazing. I can’t get enough of it. It’s like a soap opera except one that it’s cool for guys to be interested in.

How long until “Take a Gamble: The Sarah Phillips Story” is on Lifetime? Not soon enough.

DOUCHEBAG OF THE WEEK: AMARE STOUDEMIRE 

Amare Stoudemire is known for having knees barely hanging on by a string. Apparently, now he also has a hand the same way.

So the Knicks got destroyed by the Heat, so Amare took out his anger on the real culprit behind the Knicks struggles, the glass casing of a fire extinguisher.

Granted, at this point, the Knicks situation would probably qualify as an emergency. but Amare has now essentially handed the Eastern Conference to the Heat. Derrick Rose is done, and the Bulls looked completely lifeless without him. Dwight Howard is out for the playoffs. The Knicks should have at least put up a fight but now without Amare they really have no chance.

But back to how Amare is the stupidest person alive again. Out of all the things to punch, he picked the one that would shatter, because you know, that’s the point of the glass on a fire extinguisher. He must have been feeling super emo (especially with his glasses) and though it would have been really dramatic to send the glass shattering all over the floor, just like the way his heart was now all shattered. Instead he cut his hand so bad he was reportedly squirting blood and his hand was barely hanging on.

Guys, we’re going to have to probably get used to LeBron James winning an NBA championship. everything is falling (kinda literally) in place for him. This is one of the worst turn of events ever in sports. and there’s nothing anyone can do to stop it, especially if players start fighting appliances.

So while the fire extinguisher clearly won round one, wait until Jeremy Lin is healthy, then watch out.

Your 2012 new York Knicks everybody!

Follow Scott Bolohan on Twitter.

Related on The Smoking Jacket:Sterling Moore vs. Everybody ElseTom Tebow vs. NCAA Football 

Sarah Phillips vs. Amare Stoudemire

Competition: NHL ( National Hockey League )Season: 2012Competitor: new Jersey Devils vs Philadelphia FlyersDate: Thursday, may 03, 2012Kick off Time: 7:30pm EDTLive / Repeat: Live——————————————————————

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Watch New Jersey Devils vs Philadelphia Flyers Live Stream NHL Hockey HD TV Online, Thursday, May 03, 2012 « Vero Beach Tattoo. Deuces Wild Tattooing and Body Piercing – Vero Beach, FL (772) 794-3880.

Tom Haudricourt initially reported that Braun’s appeal was based on disputing the testing procedures, not his positive test. It looks like we’ve got more detail, and, oh man:

According to one of the sources, the collector, after getting Braun’s sample, was supposed to take the sample to FedEx/Kinkos for shipping but thought it was closed because it was late on a Saturday. as has occurred in some other instances, the collector took the sample home and kept it refrigerated. Policy states that the sample is supposed to get to FedEx as soon as possible.

MLB is pissed, but these are the testing rules they agreed to, and they didn’t follow the rules. If the procedure is so fucked up that some dude can keep a jar of Ryan Braun’s pee in his fridge over the weekend, then maybe Major League Baseball should worry less about Ryan Braun’s appeal and more about a chain of custody that relies on a courier knowing the hours of his local Kinkos.

[ESPN]

Ryan Braun Drug Test Saga Now Officially Screwball Comedy

Ex-Oklahoma State Brandon Weeden has been a bit overlooked in the upcoming draft in favor of former Texas A&M QB Ryan Tannehill – a darling of most evaluators.

Well, your move, Tannehill.

That’s because Weeden showed on a recent episode of ESPN’s “Sports Science” that he has incredible accuracy by smashing clay pigeons out of the air with a football. Weeden drilled the flying clay objects, which were moving at an average velocity of nearly 44 miles-per-hour, according to the “Sports Science” program.

Stay connected with LostLettermen.com via Facebook, Twitter, E-Mail & RSS Follow @lostlettermen

Weeden said on Twitter that it took him seven tries to complete, which doesn’t faze us because we can’t believe that he did it all.

Any questions about Weeden’s accuracy should be met with the clip below.

[Pistols Firing]

VIDEO: Brandon Weeden Hits Clay Pigeons With Football

Selected posts on Twitter on Thursday, April 26, after the Minnesota Vikings chose Matt Kalil with their first-round pick in the NFL draft:

“Always remember, there is nothing worth sharing like the love that lets us share our name. #ProudBrother #MattKalil2012″ – Ryan Kalil (@Ryan Kalil), Matt Kalil’s brother and Carolina Panthers center

“Congrats to @mattkalil. happy to have him as a #Viking! #skol” – Christian Ponder, Vikings quarterback (@cponder7)

“It’s nice that USC OT Matt Kalil will get to stay home with the Los Angeles Vikings.” – Rick Reilly, ESPN (@ReillyRick)

“Great Selection Vikes! We welcome you with open arms! Matt Kalil” – Adrian Peterson, Vikings running back (@AdrianPeterson)

“Congrats to my new teammate Matt Kalil on being our first round pick!! @NFLPA #OneTeam” – Kyle Rudolph, Vikings tight end (@KyleRudolph82)

“Matt Kalil is the third member of his family to be selected in the#NFLDraft joining his brother @RyanKalil (2007) and father Frank (1982).” – USC Trojans (@USC_Athletics)

“Matt Kalil becomes USC’s 76th NFL 1st round draft pick, which is more than any other school. #USCtotheNFL” – USC Trojans (@USC_Athletics)

“I’ve had the pleasure of playing w/1 brother, @RyanKalil…now get to play w/the other one. Congrats and welcome @Mattkalil to the#Vikings” – Vikings offensive lineman Geoff Schwartz (@GeoffSchwartz)

“Thank you vikings for taking an OL instead of a DT.” – TJ Lang, Green Bay Packers offensive lineman (@TJLang70)

“Vikings get 3 picks for moving down ONE spot feels same as getting free disney passes for letting u go first on roller coaster. #ezchoice” – Colin Cowherd, ESPN (@ESPN_Colin)

“Great work by Vikings GM Rick Spielman to get something for nothing.” – Todd McShay, ESPN draft analyst (@McShay13)

“So pumped to have Matt Kalil on the #Vikings #Skol great job by our front office!” – John Sullivan, Vikings offensive lineman (@JASully65)

Vikings draft: What they’re tweeting

Nobody can hate like Donovan McNabb can hate; just ask Terrell Owens. Today McNabb was featured on ESPN's first take. of course he was baited with the obvious question about whether or not Robert Griffin III would

Here is the clip from this morning's first take segment with McNabb, Skip Bayless, and what looks to be Arian Foster discussing how well RGIII will fit in with the Shanahans in Washington. Obviously at first listen Donovan

Coughlin saw 14 years ago. mcnabb jabs shanahan: If Washington drafts QB Robert Griffin III second overall next month, as expected, it won't get the most out of last year's Heisman Trophy winner, former Redskins quarterback Donovan McNabb says.

Nobody can hate like Donovan McNabb can hate; just ask Terrell Owens. Today McNabb was featured on ESPN's first take. of course he was baited with the obvious question about whether or not Robert Griffin III would

Donovan McNabb says Robert Griffin III won't work in Redskins offense

Yankee reliever Joba Chamberlain will be missing most of the 2012 season with a very serious ankle injury. 

Another blow to the New York Yankee pitching staff.  Reliever Joba Chamberlain will be out for most of the 2012 season thanks to an open dislocation of his right ankle, ESPN reports.  Chamberlain was  playing with his son when the injury occurred.

On Thursday Chamberlain has surgery on his ankle which left a flesh wound, and he was suppose to remain in the hospital for several days as a result of that.  Manager Joe Girardi said that they were at a place where jumping on trampolines was going on.  the injury will not allow him to put weight on the ankle for up to six weeks,  and will need serious rehabilitation.

[ESPN]

Joba Chamberlain Out With Dislocated Ankle

Phil Emery made a huge impression in his first big move as the Chicago Bears general manager.

According to Adam Schefter of ESPN, the Bears acquired Brandon Marshall for a pair of third-round picks, one in 2012 and another in 2013.

Filed to ESPN: Dolphins trade WR Brandon Marshall to Bears for 3rd-round pick in 2012 and 3rd-round pick in 2013. Marshall rejoins Cutler.

— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) March 13, 2012

With the move, the Bears reunite Marshall with his former quarterback Jay Cutler.

During their final season together in 2008, both Cutler and Marshall made the Pro Bowl, and interestingly enough, Jeremy Bates was calling the plays for the Broncos back then. in case you have forgotten, Bates is the Bears’ current QB coach.

The Bears acquired Marshall for a bit less than it took for Miami to acquire him from Denver. back in 2010, it took Miami sending two-second round picks to acquire the All-Pro receiver.

In Marshall, the Bears finally get that big, go-up-and-get-it receiver that they haven’t had since Marcus Robinson had his record-setting season.

Marshall, who will turn 28 this month, is 6’4″, 230 lbs and has three years remaining on a four-year extension he signed when he was traded to Miami.

Jamie Squire/Getty Images

Over his six-year career he has racked up 494 catches for over 6,000 yards and 34 touchdowns.

What this means for the Bears offense is that every member of the receiving group moves down a spot. Earl Bennett can now be that second receiver or operate in the slot in Johnny Knox is able to return healthy. It also push Devin Hester down to being third or fourth on the depth chart.

It also probably brings an end to the Roy Williams era in Chicago.

So, rejoice Bears fans. Our franchise quarterback finally has a franchise wide receiver. I can’t wait to see what other moves Emery makes now that free agency has begun.

Make sure to follow me on Twitter @dachicagofan, and check out my weekly Bears podcast every Monday on my site The MG Experience.

Chicago Bears Acquire WR Brandon Marshall from Miami Doplhins

Vail, CO -Maine snowboardcross rider Seth Wescott is at the X Games in Aspen, Colo. again. But this time, instead of watching the event from the snowboardcross course he’s viewing it from the ESPN broadcast booth.

Wescott, 28, of Carrabassett Valley, Maine, tore his pectoral muscle at last week’s World Cup snowboardcross in Veysonnaz, Switzerland. Following successful surgery in Vail, Colo., Wescott is on the mend but will sit out the rest of this winter season.

Wescott has won two Olympic gold medals in snowboardcross, the first at the inaugural Olympic competition in Turin, Italy in 2006, then again at the 2010 Games in Vancouver, Canada.

Meanwhile, Lindsey Jacobellis, who has won a total of seven X Games gold medals, a silver and a bronze, tore her left anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) when she crashed on the final jump in practice for the X Games snowboardcross on Buttermilk Mountain in Aspen on Wednesday. the injury will prevent Jacobellis from attempting to set X Games history by scoring five gold medals in a row.

“It’s with great disappointment that I had to pull out of this year’s Winter X Games due to a tear of the ACL of my left knee during practice today after over shooting the last jump,” the current World Cup leader, of Stratton Mountain, Vt., said in a statement. “I am bummed I will not be able to defend my title, and am determined more than ever to take the necessary steps to rehabilitate my knee and come back even stronger next year.

“I wish all the best to the ladies this week, and can’t wait to be back in 2013,” she added.

Also during X Games practice, snowboarding halfpipe and slopestyle phenom Shaun White sprained an ankle on Thursday, but the injury is not expected to prevent the Carlsbad, Calif. native from competing in this morning’s slopestyle elimination round at X Games. Described by medical staff as a “mild sprain” that aggravated a pre-existing injury, the ankle pain is not expected to deter White from going for a fifth consecutive gold medal in X Games SuperPipe, an event that White has won every year since 2008.

Related stories:

1. Top Cross-Country Skiers Confirm for Winter Games new Zealand
2. Vonn, Clark up for top ESPY Honor
3. U.S. Snowboarders Appear on TV’s amazing Race
4. Freeskier Sarah Burke Dies of Injuries Sustained in Halfpipe
5. Vonn Repeats top ESPY Honor

Top U.S. Snowboarders Recovering from Season-ending Injuries

The New York Yankees have traded top prospect Jesus Montero and right-handed pitcher Hector Noesi to the Seattle Mariners in exchange for phenom pitcher Michael Pineda and righty Jose Campos, a source told ESPN.com’s Jayson Stark.

The Yankees receive the 22-year-old Pineda after he went 9-10 with a 3.74 ERA for the Mariners as a rookie last year.

After an up-and-down year in Triple-A, Montero came up to the majors and showed off his electric bat. in 18 games, he hit .328 with four home runs and 28 RBIs. he was expected to be the Yankees designated hitter this season.

While there are no questions about Montero’s bat, there are some doubts on whether he can catch in the majors. The Yankees almost dealt Montero once before to the Mariners in a 2010 trade for Cliff Lee. The trade fell through and the Mariners ended up sending Lee to the Texas Rangers.

Pineda adds more youth to the Yankees’ rotation behind CC Sabathia. after Pineda, the Yankees have Ivan Nova and Phil Hughes, who are both 25 years old.

Hughes will likely have to compete with Freddy Garcia and A.J. Burnett for the fourth and fifth starter spots.

Later Friday though, the Yankees added yet another arm, signing former Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher Hiroki Kuroda, sources told ESPN The Magazine’s Buster Olney.

The deals are contingent upon those involved passing physicals, according to the source.

After losing in the first round of the playoffs, the Yankees kept looking for pitching this winter after they passed on bidding for the top free agents in what was a weak year for starters.

They could part with the 22-year-old Montero because they have several catchers in their system who are considered far better defensively. They have Austin Romine at Triple-A, plus Russell Martin earned an All-Star appearance in his first year with New York and was praised for his work with the Yankees’ pitching staff.

Pineda, who turns 23 later this month, earned his way into the Mariners’ rotation with his performance last spring. by the end of the season, he was in place as Seattle’s no. 2 starter for the future behind ace Felix Hernandez.

But no matter who Seattle had throwing, they couldn’t make up for an offense that hit just .233 as a team, scored 556 runs — worst in all of baseball — and hit only 109 homers.

Most Seattle fans have pined for Prince Fielder to be the offensive solution. For now, they’ll have to settle for Montero’s potential.

Pineda started fast, then endured typical rookie struggles as the season progressed. one of Pineda’s high points was starting at home against the Yankees on may 27 when he was already 6-2. Pineda threw five innings that night for a 4-3 Seattle victory.

But Pineda’s rookie problems started soon after. over his final 17 starts, Pineda was 3-8 and his ERA ballooned to 4.74. Overall, he struck out 173 in 171 innings.

Pineda was expendable because of Seattle’s rich depth of starters. The Mariners have Hernandez at the top of their rotation and just signed Japanese pitcher Hisashi Iwakuma. those two, combined with lefty Jason Vargas and young prospects Charlie Furbush and Blake Beavan, will likely make up Seattle rotation to begin the season.

In the minors, three of Seattle’s top prospects all project as starting pitchers: right-hander Taijuan Walker, lefty Danny Hultzen — the no. 2 pick in last year’s amateur draft — and righty James Paxton.

ESPNNewYork.com’s Andrew Marchand and The associated Press contributed to this report.

New York Yankees deal Jesus Montero for Seattle Mariners’ Michael Pineda, source says – ESPN New York